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  • Writer's pictureMako

Why this is the guy who ruins your dive (and day)

Updated: Jun 12, 2022


Diving with strangers? A great experience, and a wonderful way to make new friends Except for the dreaded occasion when That Guy arrives on the jetty. That one guy who has done it all and who cannot be surprised by anything. It is always the same guy.


As soon as he gets onto the boat, he claims the largest real estate for himself, spreading his stuff around. He will demand that you to look at his superior diving gear and the amazing underwater camera with all the bells and whistles that cost him absolute fortune. No, he cannot show you pictures from his last dive, because they are already uploaded on his latest Macbook Air in the hotel. His diving computer is state of the art. He has forgotten how many different gases it can handle, but it is many. No, he is not a technical diver, but he is aiming to become one very soon.


His last dive vacation was far superior to anything anyone else has ever done, and he knows that everybody on the boat wants to know about it, as well as his complete diving history, dive by dive. A little vague on his certifications, but listen carefully, and you will soon know how many dives he’s done, where and when, and what you’ve missed out on over the years.


On the trip out, he will be advising the skipper on all things nautical, and offers his expertise on proposed improvements to dive operations worldwide. No, he has never run a dive school or for that matter any diving operation, but he has bucketloads of business experience.


He is not concerned about the buddy checks; after all, he is a veteran diver, and nothing can surprise him. His camera takes precedence over the dive plan. If something goes wrong, the divemaster will sort it out. After all, that what he is being paid for.


He’s always already on board when you surface the dive. Predictably.


On the way back to shore, he’s remarkably quiet (or so it seems, as his audience has stopped listening), but that evening, you will hear him regaling the uninitiated with stories of the wonders he saw. Nevertheless, this place has nothing to compare with his last trip.


Have you met the guy? He pops up all over the world. If you see him, please let us know. We’ll make sure that we are thousands of miles away.

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